Meaning of life.
Quote from a movie review by A. O. Scott of the movie "Adaptation": At one point in "The Orchid Thief," Ms. Orlean asks a park ranger named Tony why he thinks people find orchids so seductive. His answer matches both the nonchalance and the insight of this remarkable, impossible film: "Oh, mystery, beauty, unknowability, I suppose. Besides, I think the real reason is that life has no meaning. I mean, no obvious meaning. You wake up, you go to work, you do stuff. I think everybody's always looking for something a little unusual that can preoccupy them and help pass the time."
The park ranger's attitude matches mine exactly. People who don't believe in god and don't feel the necessity of finding some higher meaning in life have to find some reason to live. Yes, we know our strongest instinct is to survive but we also have intelligence to analyze that instinct and say that it's not worthwhile. If we feel it's not worthwhile yet don't want to kill ourselves or live in a depressed state, we have to find something to live for. I've found that small pleasures and small passions are enough. Of course, great pleasures and grand passions are better but certainly more rare. At 57, I am content to pursue the small pleasures and passions while remaining open and on the lookout for the great ones.
The writer Branden McGill had a philosophy of life that also suited me; it's a little more idealistic than the park ranger's. He said he wanted to take as much enjoyment out of life as possible while giving back more than he took. It's a good philosophy, but what's the rationale behind it if there is no god and no higher meaning? Two answers: one, we have been culturally or genetically conditioned to feel good when we do good, and two, if we do good, our environment is likely to be better and we will benefit from it.
With these two philosophies, I live with enough satisfaction and I feel proud of myself that I'm strong enough to not need the crutches of religion or other belief's that give meaning to existence to support me. What is the source of my satisfaction in my strength? I haven't thought that one out, but it's a characterisctic that has broadened in scope in recent years, most notably in Korea, my need to try to keep up with twenty-something men, to overcome my fears and limitations in physical activities like hiking and cycling. Pride in strength? Hmmmm. Think on it.
06 December 2002
Narcissism
During all the five years I've lived in Korea, I've thought that Koreans are the most narcissistic people I've ever encountered. My first year here I discussed it with Ron Aizen and he agreed and told of seeing a young man in a men's room standing in front of the mirror trying on poses with a couple of props - a cigarette and a hat. When Ron entered the men's room, the fellow was at it and when Ron left the fellow was still at it. The fellow didn't appear in the least embarrassed at having Ron see him. I told how women stand in front of mirrors just looking and gazing and inspecting every detail of their faces - also unperturbed at having someone else see them. I thought this facial self-absorption was a Korean characteristic and that though Americans may be curious about their faces and peer into the mirror in private, they would be embarrassed to be caught at it. I would have sworn this to be the American cultural attitude. Until I recently - should I say finally since I'm many years behind the fashion - I began watching Ally McBeal. The characters in that show stand in front of the mirror gazing and peering and posing in an office toilet - unisex toilet. At least the characters stop when someone enters but they don't appear embarrassed. Well,... the characters on that show are eccentric so that may account for the posing. I think my original assessment of this mirror phenomenon was accurate: Americans do not pose in front of mirrors in public. Koreans do.
During all the five years I've lived in Korea, I've thought that Koreans are the most narcissistic people I've ever encountered. My first year here I discussed it with Ron Aizen and he agreed and told of seeing a young man in a men's room standing in front of the mirror trying on poses with a couple of props - a cigarette and a hat. When Ron entered the men's room, the fellow was at it and when Ron left the fellow was still at it. The fellow didn't appear in the least embarrassed at having Ron see him. I told how women stand in front of mirrors just looking and gazing and inspecting every detail of their faces - also unperturbed at having someone else see them. I thought this facial self-absorption was a Korean characteristic and that though Americans may be curious about their faces and peer into the mirror in private, they would be embarrassed to be caught at it. I would have sworn this to be the American cultural attitude. Until I recently - should I say finally since I'm many years behind the fashion - I began watching Ally McBeal. The characters in that show stand in front of the mirror gazing and peering and posing in an office toilet - unisex toilet. At least the characters stop when someone enters but they don't appear embarrassed. Well,... the characters on that show are eccentric so that may account for the posing. I think my original assessment of this mirror phenomenon was accurate: Americans do not pose in front of mirrors in public. Koreans do.
Samuel Pepys, the blogger.
Imagine if Samuel Pepys lived in these times. His employer would never get him away from his blog. He would blog day and night. I recently read a review of a biography of Pepys by Claire Tomalin who also wrote a biography of Jane Austin. I would like to read both biographies. What interested me most in that review was the statement that Pepys was such an unashamed diarist. He found himself always a subject of great interest to himself. Though I've kept jouranls on and off all my life, I've always been a little embarrassed by it: Writing just for the sake of writing about yourself seems so self-centered. Celebrities and geniuses have the excuse that the public is interested in whatever they have to say, but what do ordinary joes have for an excuse. I used to think that sociologists mights like to collect journals of ordinary people and use them for their analyses, but my friend and frequent bubble burster Jonny said they have too much material and are not interested.
Then what's the purpose? So I can reread my journals when I'm old and use them to reconsider my life? Maybe, but I bet I won't reread them; I'll no longer be interested in my past. Very old people seem to get deeply interested in the minutia of their current lives.
My friend Shirley Windward made good use of her lifetime of journaling. After a stroke and extensive memory loss, she read her journals and regained her memory through them. That was impressive.
I am still a bit ashamed at writing about myself, but I admit I like it. As I am the primary reference point of my existence - the world will stop existing for me when I die - I guess I'm pretty important to my life.
I wonder what made Pepys so unashamedly self-centered. The intensity of his interest in his life may be what makes his diaries so interesting even today to people everywhere. I put his biography on my shopping list for my visit to the States next summer. I doubt Kyobo Bookstore will stock it.
Friday evening, quitting time. Working Saturday tomorrow. How I hate it. Having to go home or out on Friday night knowing you have to get home early because tomorrow is a working day.
Tonight, I think I'll cook. I'll cook for the first time since I returned to Korea nearly 12 months ago. I'll boil Dececca pasta which I found at Carrefour and put naste Prego sauce on it. I must go to the TGIF tonight to say goodbye to Yassine who will be returning to school in France soon.
Imagine if Samuel Pepys lived in these times. His employer would never get him away from his blog. He would blog day and night. I recently read a review of a biography of Pepys by Claire Tomalin who also wrote a biography of Jane Austin. I would like to read both biographies. What interested me most in that review was the statement that Pepys was such an unashamed diarist. He found himself always a subject of great interest to himself. Though I've kept jouranls on and off all my life, I've always been a little embarrassed by it: Writing just for the sake of writing about yourself seems so self-centered. Celebrities and geniuses have the excuse that the public is interested in whatever they have to say, but what do ordinary joes have for an excuse. I used to think that sociologists mights like to collect journals of ordinary people and use them for their analyses, but my friend and frequent bubble burster Jonny said they have too much material and are not interested.
Then what's the purpose? So I can reread my journals when I'm old and use them to reconsider my life? Maybe, but I bet I won't reread them; I'll no longer be interested in my past. Very old people seem to get deeply interested in the minutia of their current lives.
My friend Shirley Windward made good use of her lifetime of journaling. After a stroke and extensive memory loss, she read her journals and regained her memory through them. That was impressive.
I am still a bit ashamed at writing about myself, but I admit I like it. As I am the primary reference point of my existence - the world will stop existing for me when I die - I guess I'm pretty important to my life.
I wonder what made Pepys so unashamedly self-centered. The intensity of his interest in his life may be what makes his diaries so interesting even today to people everywhere. I put his biography on my shopping list for my visit to the States next summer. I doubt Kyobo Bookstore will stock it.
Friday evening, quitting time. Working Saturday tomorrow. How I hate it. Having to go home or out on Friday night knowing you have to get home early because tomorrow is a working day.
Tonight, I think I'll cook. I'll cook for the first time since I returned to Korea nearly 12 months ago. I'll boil Dececca pasta which I found at Carrefour and put naste Prego sauce on it. I must go to the TGIF tonight to say goodbye to Yassine who will be returning to school in France soon.
05 December 2002
The American soldiers kill Korean middle school girls scandal.
I finally got more information on this case and I at least understand what happened. During all these weeks of commotion in the country over it, I couldn't understand how the girls could let the vehicle run them over. Now I know. I'd been haranguing Chang about it for a couple of weeks, but he didn't have much to say because he didn't know the facts. Finally, he read up on it and reported to me.
The story. A convoy of American vehicles were returning from three days of military exercises. A jeep with the commander was leading the convoy of armored vehicles. Because the view of the driver of these vehicles is obstructed, a navigator sits above somewhere and watches. Because of the great noise inside the vehicle, the navigator communicates to the driver through a communication system (a walkie-talkie?). No one has been able to describe the space inside the armored vehicle, but the navigator must be fairly close to the driver. One piece of information that Chang dug up for me was that if the navigator cannot use the communication system and there's an emergency, he must kick the driver. That suggests he's above and at least his feet and within reach of the driver.
The convoy is driving along a narrow public country road. Someone had told the commander that the road was too narrow for two-way traffic of big military vehicles, but it was the shortest route back to the base so the commander chose to use it. Two middle school Korean girls were walking along the road to a birthday party at a friend's. There was no shoulder on the right side of the road and there was a drop off directly from the road. I don't know how deep the drop off was. The lead jeep and two armored vehicles passed the girls and there was another army vehicle coming from the opposite direction. The driver of the third armored vehicle saw the oncoming vehicle and moved to the right side. His view being obstructed, he didn't see the girls. The navigator claims he saw the girls and tried to warn the driver through the communication system but the system didn't work and they ran over the girls, crushing them to death. The communication system of that vehicle had been malfunctioning on and off for some time and they had reported it to the repair people but the repair people hadn't gotten around to repairing it. They claimed that the system was working during the exercises.
The soldiers had gotten about five hours sleep during the previous three days; it was morning; they were on their way home.
Open question: If the navigator saw the girls and failed to communicate by the system, why didn't he kick the hell out of the driver to get his attention?
The driver and navigator were tried in a U.S. military court for negligent homicide. Both were found innocent. The judges said the prosecution failed to prove beyond reasonable doubt that they were negligent.
If those two individuals weren't negligent, who was? Somebody was negligent because such an accident should not happen. Who is ultimately responsible for the equipment being in bad repair? Was the commander responsible for taking the narrow road? Was the commander responsible for not stopping the convoy on a narrow road with no shoulder when he passed the two girls? Who the hell is responsible? Someone is. Someone should be charged with responsibility.
I suspect the navigator was lying. I suspect he was tired and on the way home and not paying attention. I think, given the U.S. system of proof beyond doubt, the verdict was just. How could the prosecution prove the navigator was lying? I also think the soldiers would not have gotten a fair trial by a Korean court with a jury. The people would have convicted them from anger and revenge emotions. Maybe a judge would have been objective, but how? If he let them go, the people would accuse him of toadying to the Americans.
The furor this has caused in Korea is about two things: general anti-American sentiment and the terms of SOFA. The Americans insist on having jurisdiction over soldiers who commit crimes in Korea. The biggest sticking point is that the U.S. has more jurisdiction in Korea than in Japan. That indicates that Japan is a stronger negotiating partner than Korea, and that understandably angers the Koreans. Though the treaty was renegotiated just a year or so ago, it is still unsatisfactory to most Koreans. Now since the innocent verdict on the two soldiers, there's demonstrations all over the country. I wish I could know more about how soldiers are disciplined for crimes in Korea. I have a feeling that they get away with too much. Maybe the military is lenient on them to compensate them for being stationed in a foreign country. But I think that soldiers stationed in a foreign country should be held to much stricter behavior. They are representing their country and they should be models of that country. I'd like to hear the American military side of the argument. The facts as I know them look pretty bad for the U.S.
I finally got more information on this case and I at least understand what happened. During all these weeks of commotion in the country over it, I couldn't understand how the girls could let the vehicle run them over. Now I know. I'd been haranguing Chang about it for a couple of weeks, but he didn't have much to say because he didn't know the facts. Finally, he read up on it and reported to me.
The story. A convoy of American vehicles were returning from three days of military exercises. A jeep with the commander was leading the convoy of armored vehicles. Because the view of the driver of these vehicles is obstructed, a navigator sits above somewhere and watches. Because of the great noise inside the vehicle, the navigator communicates to the driver through a communication system (a walkie-talkie?). No one has been able to describe the space inside the armored vehicle, but the navigator must be fairly close to the driver. One piece of information that Chang dug up for me was that if the navigator cannot use the communication system and there's an emergency, he must kick the driver. That suggests he's above and at least his feet and within reach of the driver.
The convoy is driving along a narrow public country road. Someone had told the commander that the road was too narrow for two-way traffic of big military vehicles, but it was the shortest route back to the base so the commander chose to use it. Two middle school Korean girls were walking along the road to a birthday party at a friend's. There was no shoulder on the right side of the road and there was a drop off directly from the road. I don't know how deep the drop off was. The lead jeep and two armored vehicles passed the girls and there was another army vehicle coming from the opposite direction. The driver of the third armored vehicle saw the oncoming vehicle and moved to the right side. His view being obstructed, he didn't see the girls. The navigator claims he saw the girls and tried to warn the driver through the communication system but the system didn't work and they ran over the girls, crushing them to death. The communication system of that vehicle had been malfunctioning on and off for some time and they had reported it to the repair people but the repair people hadn't gotten around to repairing it. They claimed that the system was working during the exercises.
The soldiers had gotten about five hours sleep during the previous three days; it was morning; they were on their way home.
Open question: If the navigator saw the girls and failed to communicate by the system, why didn't he kick the hell out of the driver to get his attention?
The driver and navigator were tried in a U.S. military court for negligent homicide. Both were found innocent. The judges said the prosecution failed to prove beyond reasonable doubt that they were negligent.
If those two individuals weren't negligent, who was? Somebody was negligent because such an accident should not happen. Who is ultimately responsible for the equipment being in bad repair? Was the commander responsible for taking the narrow road? Was the commander responsible for not stopping the convoy on a narrow road with no shoulder when he passed the two girls? Who the hell is responsible? Someone is. Someone should be charged with responsibility.
I suspect the navigator was lying. I suspect he was tired and on the way home and not paying attention. I think, given the U.S. system of proof beyond doubt, the verdict was just. How could the prosecution prove the navigator was lying? I also think the soldiers would not have gotten a fair trial by a Korean court with a jury. The people would have convicted them from anger and revenge emotions. Maybe a judge would have been objective, but how? If he let them go, the people would accuse him of toadying to the Americans.
The furor this has caused in Korea is about two things: general anti-American sentiment and the terms of SOFA. The Americans insist on having jurisdiction over soldiers who commit crimes in Korea. The biggest sticking point is that the U.S. has more jurisdiction in Korea than in Japan. That indicates that Japan is a stronger negotiating partner than Korea, and that understandably angers the Koreans. Though the treaty was renegotiated just a year or so ago, it is still unsatisfactory to most Koreans. Now since the innocent verdict on the two soldiers, there's demonstrations all over the country. I wish I could know more about how soldiers are disciplined for crimes in Korea. I have a feeling that they get away with too much. Maybe the military is lenient on them to compensate them for being stationed in a foreign country. But I think that soldiers stationed in a foreign country should be held to much stricter behavior. They are representing their country and they should be models of that country. I'd like to hear the American military side of the argument. The facts as I know them look pretty bad for the U.S.
04 December 2002
Ain't life grand?
Being terrified all year about using up my scant vacation days - 12 days at ETRI as opposed to 4 months at KAIST - I find myself in the first week of December with four days left. Those four days plus Korea's election day plus Christmas and New Year's holidays give me seven holidays in five weeks. WOW! I had originally planned to use those days for cycling alone or with Chang or with Fable, but I waited too long: no warmish days in the next two weeks' forecast. All I ask is 8 degrees Celsius or above, but it seems it's not going to happen. So what's the next best thing to cycling? Sleeping, of course. I've arranged my days so I'll have one vacation day to sleep in after a milonga (tango dancing event) the night before; one vacation day to go to the dentist (It's been a year and a half since my last cleaning.), but that will also be a sleeping in day and I'll try to set up a drinking or romancing appointment for the night before; one sleeping in vacation day on the day I go to Seoul for three evenings of tango lessons from Chan and Eugenia, the American couple (Korean-American and Ukrainian-American) who gave us two weeks of lessons last winter; and one sleeping in vacation day after the three nights of lessons. In addition, election day will be a sleeping in day after a milonga, and the two holidays, Xmas and New Year's, will just be sleeping in days. Yes, life is grand.
Last Saturday I had a murderous cycling ride. It being a working Saturday, Chang and I didn't get started until about 2. Driving to Kyejok Mountain, we began cycling at 2:30. Chang proposed to go over the mountain to the other side where we could see Daecheong Lake because that was a course I had never taken. He warned me that it was a hard course, about 3 1/2 hours offroad and steep, and asked if I was fit. Yes, I said. Though I had only worked out once that week, I felt generally fit and strong. I made two mistakes: one, I didn't ask if it was a Chang 3 1/2 hours or a Juli 3 1/2 hours and two, I assumed on that route we could see the lake and didn't think about descending the other side of the mountain and riding along the lake. It was a Chang 3 hours and we did indeed descend the mountain on the other side and ride along the lake. The only mitigating factor was that the ride on the other side of the mountain was mostly paved country road. OH, I was so lucky, another mitigating factor: Workers were doing maintenance on the offroad going up the front side of the mountain and parts of it were smoothed out and patted down so there was less loose dirt and gravel in those sections. I got up the steep first three kilometers better than I had on the previous two rides, and I was feeling quite proud of myself. What made the difference? My new wider rear tire that I'd installed all by myself? Increased fitness and strength? Improved hill-climbing skill? I don't know, but I was proud. Then we toodled along up and down around the mountain a while before descending. Well, it wasn't exactly toodling, because Chang asked if we could speed up because it was getting late and we needed to get down and come up and go down again before dark, which he guessed would be at 6. That put pressure on me because I just do the best I can and I can't speed up more than the best I can. Chang, a fit twenty something man, knows that I, a late fifty something woman, can only do what she can do. I tried to speed up but I basically kept my pace. Down the mountain - pleasant. Along the lake shore - lovely, beautiful, wonderful, but I was getting tired and cold. Starting up the mountain through some very small villages - still interesting but I was realizing I was really tired and colder. Darkness came before 5:30. Colder. More tired. Halfway up the mountain, Chang started asking if I could make it. I replied what choice did I have. He suggested I could wait somewhere while he got the car and drove around the mountain which would take much longer than cycling over the mountain. No I would freeze waiting in the cold and there were no public places along the way. I had to keep going. He rode ahead at his pace and waited for me from time to time. One point in my favor: He asked if I was afraid of the dark. No, certainly not. Oh good, because his girlfriend (as most Koreans) was afraid of the dark and he couldn't have left her alone a minute and even with him she'd be afraid. Most Koreans (even PhD engineers) believe in ghosts and it seems ghosts hang out in mountains in the dark. That wasn't a problem for me. Even if there are ghosts in Korean mountains, I can't imagine what business they would have with me. Chang was free to ride ahead and only wait where the trail forked. Our biggest concern was my night blindness. He's seen me try to hike down mountains in the dark and knew I couldn't see a thing. Fortunately, the trail was lighter than the surrounding terrain so I could see where to go though not the stones and ruts in the way. Fortunately also, the foot and hand warmers I was wearing worked. My toes and fingers were still freezing but the feet and hands were warm, and I was warm enough. We got down the moutain just after 6:30. I did anyway. Chang had gone ahead and had packed up his bike and had the heater going in the car when I arrived.
I was tired but proud as hell of myself for making it. What choice did I have but to make it? That night I met Fable for dinner. Watched a movie. Couldn't do anything but vegetate dumbly. Next morning, same thing. To be continued.... I'm off to dinner with Chang and Ken and then on to the milonga. No work tomorrow. Hah, hah.
Being terrified all year about using up my scant vacation days - 12 days at ETRI as opposed to 4 months at KAIST - I find myself in the first week of December with four days left. Those four days plus Korea's election day plus Christmas and New Year's holidays give me seven holidays in five weeks. WOW! I had originally planned to use those days for cycling alone or with Chang or with Fable, but I waited too long: no warmish days in the next two weeks' forecast. All I ask is 8 degrees Celsius or above, but it seems it's not going to happen. So what's the next best thing to cycling? Sleeping, of course. I've arranged my days so I'll have one vacation day to sleep in after a milonga (tango dancing event) the night before; one vacation day to go to the dentist (It's been a year and a half since my last cleaning.), but that will also be a sleeping in day and I'll try to set up a drinking or romancing appointment for the night before; one sleeping in vacation day on the day I go to Seoul for three evenings of tango lessons from Chan and Eugenia, the American couple (Korean-American and Ukrainian-American) who gave us two weeks of lessons last winter; and one sleeping in vacation day after the three nights of lessons. In addition, election day will be a sleeping in day after a milonga, and the two holidays, Xmas and New Year's, will just be sleeping in days. Yes, life is grand.
Last Saturday I had a murderous cycling ride. It being a working Saturday, Chang and I didn't get started until about 2. Driving to Kyejok Mountain, we began cycling at 2:30. Chang proposed to go over the mountain to the other side where we could see Daecheong Lake because that was a course I had never taken. He warned me that it was a hard course, about 3 1/2 hours offroad and steep, and asked if I was fit. Yes, I said. Though I had only worked out once that week, I felt generally fit and strong. I made two mistakes: one, I didn't ask if it was a Chang 3 1/2 hours or a Juli 3 1/2 hours and two, I assumed on that route we could see the lake and didn't think about descending the other side of the mountain and riding along the lake. It was a Chang 3 hours and we did indeed descend the mountain on the other side and ride along the lake. The only mitigating factor was that the ride on the other side of the mountain was mostly paved country road. OH, I was so lucky, another mitigating factor: Workers were doing maintenance on the offroad going up the front side of the mountain and parts of it were smoothed out and patted down so there was less loose dirt and gravel in those sections. I got up the steep first three kilometers better than I had on the previous two rides, and I was feeling quite proud of myself. What made the difference? My new wider rear tire that I'd installed all by myself? Increased fitness and strength? Improved hill-climbing skill? I don't know, but I was proud. Then we toodled along up and down around the mountain a while before descending. Well, it wasn't exactly toodling, because Chang asked if we could speed up because it was getting late and we needed to get down and come up and go down again before dark, which he guessed would be at 6. That put pressure on me because I just do the best I can and I can't speed up more than the best I can. Chang, a fit twenty something man, knows that I, a late fifty something woman, can only do what she can do. I tried to speed up but I basically kept my pace. Down the mountain - pleasant. Along the lake shore - lovely, beautiful, wonderful, but I was getting tired and cold. Starting up the mountain through some very small villages - still interesting but I was realizing I was really tired and colder. Darkness came before 5:30. Colder. More tired. Halfway up the mountain, Chang started asking if I could make it. I replied what choice did I have. He suggested I could wait somewhere while he got the car and drove around the mountain which would take much longer than cycling over the mountain. No I would freeze waiting in the cold and there were no public places along the way. I had to keep going. He rode ahead at his pace and waited for me from time to time. One point in my favor: He asked if I was afraid of the dark. No, certainly not. Oh good, because his girlfriend (as most Koreans) was afraid of the dark and he couldn't have left her alone a minute and even with him she'd be afraid. Most Koreans (even PhD engineers) believe in ghosts and it seems ghosts hang out in mountains in the dark. That wasn't a problem for me. Even if there are ghosts in Korean mountains, I can't imagine what business they would have with me. Chang was free to ride ahead and only wait where the trail forked. Our biggest concern was my night blindness. He's seen me try to hike down mountains in the dark and knew I couldn't see a thing. Fortunately, the trail was lighter than the surrounding terrain so I could see where to go though not the stones and ruts in the way. Fortunately also, the foot and hand warmers I was wearing worked. My toes and fingers were still freezing but the feet and hands were warm, and I was warm enough. We got down the moutain just after 6:30. I did anyway. Chang had gone ahead and had packed up his bike and had the heater going in the car when I arrived.
I was tired but proud as hell of myself for making it. What choice did I have but to make it? That night I met Fable for dinner. Watched a movie. Couldn't do anything but vegetate dumbly. Next morning, same thing. To be continued.... I'm off to dinner with Chang and Ken and then on to the milonga. No work tomorrow. Hah, hah.
28 November 2002
Chang's grandmother.
My good buddy (cum father, Korean-life and love-life advisor, tango partner, mountain biking teacher) Chang told me a story about his grandmother recently. She had only told him the story the week before when he gave her a ride from Seoul to Shintanjin. I have frequently commented to Koreans that they must get the stories out of the older generation because they're about to be lost.
Chang's grandmother's story. Chang is not certain of the facts and I asked him to check them. I am not certain of the historical facts. My story may contain unintended factual errors. When Chang gets more facts, I'll make corrections to my story.
Chang's grandmother (GM) was somewhere in the middle of about nine children. At about age 8, her family moved to Japan for her father to find work. About half of the nine children were born in Japan. This was in the 20's during the time of Japan's occupation of Korea. The Japanese were ruthlessly exploiting Korean economic opportunities, leaving Koreans without work or means of support. Koreans by the thousands moved to Manchuria or Japan to find work. At that time in Korea, girls did not go to school. They were kept at home to learn homemaking skills and to be kept safe until their marriage. At the same time in Japan both boys and girls were provided public education. At 8, GM was already behind in school. Some Korean-Japanese associations organized special schools to bring immigrant children up to their grade level. In this way GM got some education. I don't think she was ever able to regularly attend a regular school but she attended school and received an education in the basic subjects of math, history, and Japanese language. She spoke Korean at home but did not learn the Korean alphabet. She spoke, read, and wrote Japanese fluently.
At about age 14 GM began working in a factory to help support the family. She continued her education through the special immigrant schools when she had the opportunity. GM married a Korean-Japanese and had four children, all girls, three born in Japan and one in Korea. In about 1948 or 49 some of the family returned to Korea. Open question: Did GM's husband serve in the Japanese army during the war. I've read that they had to, unless, I suppose, they were involved in war-effort work. Some of the original family remained in Japan and some returned to Korea. GM, her husband, and her children returned to Korea when GM was about 28. GM had continued to work in Japan after her marriage and again in Korea she continued to work. Her husband wasn't able to find work in Busan where they'd settled. After the Japanese occupation and the war, the economy was in a dire condition.
Then in 1950, the Korean War. GM's husband was already over the soldiering age and he became a draft clerk for his town. Feeling guilty for sending young men off to die for their country, he joined the army anyway. Within a few months he was killed, leaving GM to raise her girls in the midst of war and its aftermath. GM hasn't talked to Chang about this time of hunger and desperation, but I've read accounts. Those people suffered terribly from hunger, cold, and disease. In the cafeteria of my institute, I watch the older women who work as cleaners and grounds keepers: They still eat like people who have known hunger, piling their plates high, stuffing as much in their mouths as possible, furtively spooning what's left into plastic bags on their laps.
One of GM's four girls died at about age 9 and another at about 30. Two girls remain, Chang's mother and aunt. I don't know what education Chang's mother was able to get. She's one year younger than me so she was born in 1946. That puts her growing up in the worst times of Korea: World War II and then almost immediately the Korean War during her first ten years of life, and then more years of hardship during the recovery period for her next ten years. Chang's father died when he was a teenager and I don't know what he did for a living, but his parents managed to raise their two boys and put them through university and graduate school. Chang graduated from Seoul National University, the country's most prestigeous university, and is now a researcher at a prestigeous IT research institute.
It's a story repeated over and over. Chang's generation of highly educated techies coming from parents and grandparents who suffered through occupation and two wars. And the younger generation rarely knows anything about the lives of their parents and grandparents. I don't think it's because the young people are not interested. I think it's because the older generation doesn't talk to their children about their lives. I think in Korean society, parents talk to their children to educate them to their responsibilities in life, but they don't talk to them to share their feelings and experiences. I keep telling my young Korean friends: Get the stories and write them down. But they don't.
My good buddy (cum father, Korean-life and love-life advisor, tango partner, mountain biking teacher) Chang told me a story about his grandmother recently. She had only told him the story the week before when he gave her a ride from Seoul to Shintanjin. I have frequently commented to Koreans that they must get the stories out of the older generation because they're about to be lost.
Chang's grandmother's story. Chang is not certain of the facts and I asked him to check them. I am not certain of the historical facts. My story may contain unintended factual errors. When Chang gets more facts, I'll make corrections to my story.
Chang's grandmother (GM) was somewhere in the middle of about nine children. At about age 8, her family moved to Japan for her father to find work. About half of the nine children were born in Japan. This was in the 20's during the time of Japan's occupation of Korea. The Japanese were ruthlessly exploiting Korean economic opportunities, leaving Koreans without work or means of support. Koreans by the thousands moved to Manchuria or Japan to find work. At that time in Korea, girls did not go to school. They were kept at home to learn homemaking skills and to be kept safe until their marriage. At the same time in Japan both boys and girls were provided public education. At 8, GM was already behind in school. Some Korean-Japanese associations organized special schools to bring immigrant children up to their grade level. In this way GM got some education. I don't think she was ever able to regularly attend a regular school but she attended school and received an education in the basic subjects of math, history, and Japanese language. She spoke Korean at home but did not learn the Korean alphabet. She spoke, read, and wrote Japanese fluently.
At about age 14 GM began working in a factory to help support the family. She continued her education through the special immigrant schools when she had the opportunity. GM married a Korean-Japanese and had four children, all girls, three born in Japan and one in Korea. In about 1948 or 49 some of the family returned to Korea. Open question: Did GM's husband serve in the Japanese army during the war. I've read that they had to, unless, I suppose, they were involved in war-effort work. Some of the original family remained in Japan and some returned to Korea. GM, her husband, and her children returned to Korea when GM was about 28. GM had continued to work in Japan after her marriage and again in Korea she continued to work. Her husband wasn't able to find work in Busan where they'd settled. After the Japanese occupation and the war, the economy was in a dire condition.
Then in 1950, the Korean War. GM's husband was already over the soldiering age and he became a draft clerk for his town. Feeling guilty for sending young men off to die for their country, he joined the army anyway. Within a few months he was killed, leaving GM to raise her girls in the midst of war and its aftermath. GM hasn't talked to Chang about this time of hunger and desperation, but I've read accounts. Those people suffered terribly from hunger, cold, and disease. In the cafeteria of my institute, I watch the older women who work as cleaners and grounds keepers: They still eat like people who have known hunger, piling their plates high, stuffing as much in their mouths as possible, furtively spooning what's left into plastic bags on their laps.
One of GM's four girls died at about age 9 and another at about 30. Two girls remain, Chang's mother and aunt. I don't know what education Chang's mother was able to get. She's one year younger than me so she was born in 1946. That puts her growing up in the worst times of Korea: World War II and then almost immediately the Korean War during her first ten years of life, and then more years of hardship during the recovery period for her next ten years. Chang's father died when he was a teenager and I don't know what he did for a living, but his parents managed to raise their two boys and put them through university and graduate school. Chang graduated from Seoul National University, the country's most prestigeous university, and is now a researcher at a prestigeous IT research institute.
It's a story repeated over and over. Chang's generation of highly educated techies coming from parents and grandparents who suffered through occupation and two wars. And the younger generation rarely knows anything about the lives of their parents and grandparents. I don't think it's because the young people are not interested. I think it's because the older generation doesn't talk to their children about their lives. I think in Korean society, parents talk to their children to educate them to their responsibilities in life, but they don't talk to them to share their feelings and experiences. I keep telling my young Korean friends: Get the stories and write them down. But they don't.
13 November 2002
When Bush started this thing with North Korea, I wondered what was going on. Then I guessed that he was creating a backup. If he fails to attack Iraq, he'll have Korea to attack. Apparently he must attack someone. Why? To show he's macho? To best his father? To complement his father? To support the weapons industry? If it were just Iraq, we could guess it's oil, but Korea can't help with oil, so maybe it's weapons. My Moroccan friend Driss thinks there is a clear reason but the public doesn't know it. Then why doesn't the public know it? What happened to investigative reporting? Is Chomsky right? Is the news media in the pocket of a government-big biz coalition conspiracy? Beats the hell out of me. I wish I knew what was going on, but I sure don't. The only thing I'm sure of is that neither war pretext is the reason.
When you read about events in history and consider what the public knew at the time - and I do think the government might have been a bit more honest in those days (or am I being naive?) - then you have to know that we don't know much about what's going on. I just read an article about Chiang Kai-shek. Government advisors warned and warned the government that Chiang's government on the mainland was corrupt and inept, that most of the aid was going into private pockets. The governement ignored the warnings because it suited them to champion Chiang as a bulwark against communism. Furthermore, the press - maybe led by Luce's organs - also chose to champion him. Was fighting communism the only reason?
I've always assumed that Chiang's government in Taiwan was repressive and corrupt and the article I read confirms that. In addition to killing thousands of protestors at the beginning of his reign on the island, he ruled throughout with secret service agents and terror. And that included his own population of refugees as well as the Taiwanese and of course the native tribes people of the mountains.
The other thing I can't figure out is how the UN can make all those resolutions against Iraq but not put the same pressure on other regimes. Is it legal or does the UN just give into US pressure. I sure don't know and wish someone would explain it to me.
Someone told me that Bush wouldn't attack North Korea because South Korea is so densely populated and a war here would mean the loss of too many lives. Does anyone think Bush cares about that? My friend said maybe Bush doesn't but he certainly has advisors more intelligent than he. Yes, but.... I think Bush won't attack North Korea because it would destroy the economy of South Korea and then the economies of Japan and the other Asian tigers would fall and then our recession would go into a worldwide depression. Driss says the US would even be willing to create a worldwide depression to accomplish whatever secret goal they have. Oh yes, Driss thinks the US wants to destroy the European economy so the US can dominate them and the US is willing to go through a depression if they calculate they'll recover sooner than anyone else and then dominate everyone. I suspect Driss's analysis lacks sound knowledge of economics, but I don't know. I wouldn't put anything past any government.
Politics is so perplexing and disturbing.
When you read about events in history and consider what the public knew at the time - and I do think the government might have been a bit more honest in those days (or am I being naive?) - then you have to know that we don't know much about what's going on. I just read an article about Chiang Kai-shek. Government advisors warned and warned the government that Chiang's government on the mainland was corrupt and inept, that most of the aid was going into private pockets. The governement ignored the warnings because it suited them to champion Chiang as a bulwark against communism. Furthermore, the press - maybe led by Luce's organs - also chose to champion him. Was fighting communism the only reason?
I've always assumed that Chiang's government in Taiwan was repressive and corrupt and the article I read confirms that. In addition to killing thousands of protestors at the beginning of his reign on the island, he ruled throughout with secret service agents and terror. And that included his own population of refugees as well as the Taiwanese and of course the native tribes people of the mountains.
The other thing I can't figure out is how the UN can make all those resolutions against Iraq but not put the same pressure on other regimes. Is it legal or does the UN just give into US pressure. I sure don't know and wish someone would explain it to me.
Someone told me that Bush wouldn't attack North Korea because South Korea is so densely populated and a war here would mean the loss of too many lives. Does anyone think Bush cares about that? My friend said maybe Bush doesn't but he certainly has advisors more intelligent than he. Yes, but.... I think Bush won't attack North Korea because it would destroy the economy of South Korea and then the economies of Japan and the other Asian tigers would fall and then our recession would go into a worldwide depression. Driss says the US would even be willing to create a worldwide depression to accomplish whatever secret goal they have. Oh yes, Driss thinks the US wants to destroy the European economy so the US can dominate them and the US is willing to go through a depression if they calculate they'll recover sooner than anyone else and then dominate everyone. I suspect Driss's analysis lacks sound knowledge of economics, but I don't know. I wouldn't put anything past any government.
Politics is so perplexing and disturbing.
06 November 2002
This morning as I was getting out of the shower, something triggered the memory of an event from 28 years ago. At a bargeque at friends Pete and Nancy, I met a Ugandan. Chatting with me and my six year old daughter, he told us he lived in LA with his sister and her six children. My daughter piped up, "Do you kiss and hug naked with your sister?" Understandably taken aback, he quietly replied no. My daughter came back with, "Then how did she get all those children?"
05 November 2002
Beginning with such enthusiasm over my discovery of blogging, it took only three days to kill it. I read a slew of articles about blogging and became self conscious about wasting the Internet's space and time with my petty thoughts and activities. I decided I'd write only when I have something to say. Since then, I've had lots to say but no time to say it, so I stopped. OK, so new plan. Write a little every day and when the time and inspiration come, write something meaningful.
24 October 2002
Acually 10/25/02 morning
Blogging as a personal diary of daily life or a journal of personl thoughts reminds me of the oral histories gathered during the Depression. To create work for writers, the federal government hired writers to travel around the country and take the oral histories or ordinary people, aging people who had lived in another age and whose stories would soon be lost. When I read about that, I thought it was such a grand idea. From history books we get the big picture and stories of the big players, all distorted for the benefit of the big players. There's something comforting in hearing disinterested stories of ordinary people. In recent years, I would guess there there have been far fewer people who have kept diaries and journals. People are so busy and with the advent of the Internet, people have been able to satisfy their need for self expression in online boards. Blogging is a little different. It's meant to be both private and public: it combines the old-fashioned diary with online BBS postings. It's more controlled, more thoughtful, and in the end, perhaps more truly an expression of the writer.
Certainly the Internet is full of very dull blogs. From some points of view, diaries in general, with some exceptions, are dull. A diary of a frontier farm housewife with little education was dull: got up at 4 this morning to milk the cows; cleaned the pig sty; came in and prepared breakfast for Joe and the kids - grits and taters and coffee... Well whatever they did and ate. The point is that that frontier farm woman's daily life may have been dull and the same every day. But today, we find her diary a treasure, a glimpse of a time and a people from a perspective that we couldn't have known otherwise. In addition, historians and sociologists have a primary source for their studies. Diaries may be generall dull but they're valuable.
Then we have oral histories written by professionals. They are probably less dull because the writers worked with a retrospective of a life and could dig out both the routine and the outstanding events of a person's life and organize them into an interesting chronicle.
Now we have blogs. Back to the dull daily accounts and the often inane opinions of ordinary people. Historians and sociologists will have all the data they could want, and other ordinary people can dip into the private lives of so many other people like themselves. We don't have to read every boring entry of every blogger we encounter. We can peak here and there and take what we want.
I like it. I like the idea of blogging for personal diaries and journals and I like the idea of blogging for dissemination of ideas, opinions, and information. It's a great age, this Information Age.
Blogging as a personal diary of daily life or a journal of personl thoughts reminds me of the oral histories gathered during the Depression. To create work for writers, the federal government hired writers to travel around the country and take the oral histories or ordinary people, aging people who had lived in another age and whose stories would soon be lost. When I read about that, I thought it was such a grand idea. From history books we get the big picture and stories of the big players, all distorted for the benefit of the big players. There's something comforting in hearing disinterested stories of ordinary people. In recent years, I would guess there there have been far fewer people who have kept diaries and journals. People are so busy and with the advent of the Internet, people have been able to satisfy their need for self expression in online boards. Blogging is a little different. It's meant to be both private and public: it combines the old-fashioned diary with online BBS postings. It's more controlled, more thoughtful, and in the end, perhaps more truly an expression of the writer.
Certainly the Internet is full of very dull blogs. From some points of view, diaries in general, with some exceptions, are dull. A diary of a frontier farm housewife with little education was dull: got up at 4 this morning to milk the cows; cleaned the pig sty; came in and prepared breakfast for Joe and the kids - grits and taters and coffee... Well whatever they did and ate. The point is that that frontier farm woman's daily life may have been dull and the same every day. But today, we find her diary a treasure, a glimpse of a time and a people from a perspective that we couldn't have known otherwise. In addition, historians and sociologists have a primary source for their studies. Diaries may be generall dull but they're valuable.
Then we have oral histories written by professionals. They are probably less dull because the writers worked with a retrospective of a life and could dig out both the routine and the outstanding events of a person's life and organize them into an interesting chronicle.
Now we have blogs. Back to the dull daily accounts and the often inane opinions of ordinary people. Historians and sociologists will have all the data they could want, and other ordinary people can dip into the private lives of so many other people like themselves. We don't have to read every boring entry of every blogger we encounter. We can peak here and there and take what we want.
I like it. I like the idea of blogging for personal diaries and journals and I like the idea of blogging for dissemination of ideas, opinions, and information. It's a great age, this Information Age.
23 October 2002
Actually 10/24 afternoon
Now I'm trying to figure out the difference between the Blogger and Blogger Pro services and the Blog*Spot and Blog*Spot Plus services. I want more than just my log. I want my site to be the way The Homeless Guy's site is, with a column for an intro and other permanent stuff, a column for my journal, and a column for quotes and lists and links and stuff. I wrote to the homeless guy, Kevin, but I doubt he'll answer. I reckon he gets a lot of mail. I can't figure out how to contact the Blogger administrators. What to do? Wait a bit and try to learn more.
Last night's tango was good. The lesson wasn't as good as I expected, but I enjoy every lesson because I get a chance to practice and concentrate on skills, two things I can't do when just dancing. Just dancing calls first for connecting to my partner and the music and following my partner. I do try some skill practice but not at the expense of the other two. Lately I've been trying to make myself light when I dance. I always feel so heavy, like I jerk myself through each step. I want to be light and glide through the steps. I want my partner to feel me light and flowy so he'll feel good and want to dance with me more and I'll feel good and want to dance with him more.
Last night a regular Azucar girl came and sat next to me and chatted a while. I was honored because most of the members - except my few friends - ignore me. The girl (Don't know her Azucar name; I'll call her Annie Hall becaue when she first came to Azucar her style was Annie Hall - very unusual for Korean women.) Difficult as it was for her to get the English out, she persisted in talking with me for a long time. She's 35. Unbelievable! She looks like a kid. She's not married. Unbelievable! She's not interested in getting married, or I should say she's afraid of marriage because she values her individual identity. Really unblelievable. I liked her. I told her I was 58. She said everyone knows my age because I announced it at the Baejae University performance. She said all the audience was shocked. She said so many Azucar members admire me for my youth and spirit. I felt like saying they sure didn't show it, but I didn't. Now I understand that they don't talk or dance with me because they are shy because of my age. They just don't know how to be equal to an older person. That knowledge - realization renewed - motivates me to be more outgoing and try to talk to more people and even ask guys to dance. Last night I asked Waltz to dance. He had never asked me to dance though he was so friendly and protective when we traveled to Seoul with the group for the Latin Soguro anniversary party. When I asked him to dance, he seemed delighted. Next time if he doesn't ask me, I'll ask him.
Now I'd better get to work. Much to do if I'm to meet my Friday deadline so I don't have to come in Sunday to meet the real deadline Monday.
Now I'm trying to figure out the difference between the Blogger and Blogger Pro services and the Blog*Spot and Blog*Spot Plus services. I want more than just my log. I want my site to be the way The Homeless Guy's site is, with a column for an intro and other permanent stuff, a column for my journal, and a column for quotes and lists and links and stuff. I wrote to the homeless guy, Kevin, but I doubt he'll answer. I reckon he gets a lot of mail. I can't figure out how to contact the Blogger administrators. What to do? Wait a bit and try to learn more.
Last night's tango was good. The lesson wasn't as good as I expected, but I enjoy every lesson because I get a chance to practice and concentrate on skills, two things I can't do when just dancing. Just dancing calls first for connecting to my partner and the music and following my partner. I do try some skill practice but not at the expense of the other two. Lately I've been trying to make myself light when I dance. I always feel so heavy, like I jerk myself through each step. I want to be light and glide through the steps. I want my partner to feel me light and flowy so he'll feel good and want to dance with me more and I'll feel good and want to dance with him more.
Last night a regular Azucar girl came and sat next to me and chatted a while. I was honored because most of the members - except my few friends - ignore me. The girl (Don't know her Azucar name; I'll call her Annie Hall becaue when she first came to Azucar her style was Annie Hall - very unusual for Korean women.) Difficult as it was for her to get the English out, she persisted in talking with me for a long time. She's 35. Unbelievable! She looks like a kid. She's not married. Unbelievable! She's not interested in getting married, or I should say she's afraid of marriage because she values her individual identity. Really unblelievable. I liked her. I told her I was 58. She said everyone knows my age because I announced it at the Baejae University performance. She said all the audience was shocked. She said so many Azucar members admire me for my youth and spirit. I felt like saying they sure didn't show it, but I didn't. Now I understand that they don't talk or dance with me because they are shy because of my age. They just don't know how to be equal to an older person. That knowledge - realization renewed - motivates me to be more outgoing and try to talk to more people and even ask guys to dance. Last night I asked Waltz to dance. He had never asked me to dance though he was so friendly and protective when we traveled to Seoul with the group for the Latin Soguro anniversary party. When I asked him to dance, he seemed delighted. Next time if he doesn't ask me, I'll ask him.
Now I'd better get to work. Much to do if I'm to meet my Friday deadline so I don't have to come in Sunday to meet the real deadline Monday.
Actually 10/23, 6:00 pm
Busy, productive day so I didn't get to write here. I did, however, locate and copy lots of articles on blogging; I still don't know exactly how it works. I write here, but I wonder how anyone else gets to see it. Further, it seems that some blogging sites provide a means to respond to the blogger. I have to investigate more.
I read a few Blog sites and was so impressed by a young Australian girl, about 22, who is staying alone with her sister on their parents' farm. She was so articulate; I wondered is she exceptionally intelligent, highly talented, or do all Aussies learn to write like that.
Last night I finally got a haircut after two full months. UHG! Now I feel better though I may not look any better.
Today is another tango lesson. I'm excited because it's by Dance Boy. He's the most talented of our members in both dancing and teaching. Wish he were more comfortable speaking English; he just won't talk to me. At least I can watch and try and maybe later, during the milonga, dance with him. Last week he asked me to dance: First time for tango. Afterwards he said, "Hmmm, pretty good." I was thrilled.
Off to tango.
Busy, productive day so I didn't get to write here. I did, however, locate and copy lots of articles on blogging; I still don't know exactly how it works. I write here, but I wonder how anyone else gets to see it. Further, it seems that some blogging sites provide a means to respond to the blogger. I have to investigate more.
I read a few Blog sites and was so impressed by a young Australian girl, about 22, who is staying alone with her sister on their parents' farm. She was so articulate; I wondered is she exceptionally intelligent, highly talented, or do all Aussies learn to write like that.
Last night I finally got a haircut after two full months. UHG! Now I feel better though I may not look any better.
Today is another tango lesson. I'm excited because it's by Dance Boy. He's the most talented of our members in both dancing and teaching. Wish he were more comfortable speaking English; he just won't talk to me. At least I can watch and try and maybe later, during the milonga, dance with him. Last week he asked me to dance: First time for tango. Afterwards he said, "Hmmm, pretty good." I was thrilled.
Off to tango.
21 October 2002
Actually 10/22/02, 10:20 am
Yesterday I came across the word "blog" in something I read. I vaguely remembered having encountered the term before and thought it was some kind of journal posted on the Internet. After searching Google for more information, I got a good definition and then found this site. It was 6 pm and I was to meet Chang outside my building at 6:15. The site said it would take three minutes to create my own blogging site. WHOA! I did it and met Chang in time. I know nothing more than that I can post my journal here. I don't know how others will find it or why they would want to find it. I don't know what making links to it or from it entails. That will come later when I have time to look it up.
In the meantime, just in case someone finds his or her way to my blog, I'll introduce myself.
I'm 57, female, from Californian, living in Daejeon, Korea. I came to Korea in 1997 after four years in Romania. For four years I taught English science writing to graduate students at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST). In June 2001 I returned to the States to try to make a living there but failed. I chose Silicon Valley just at the depth of the recession (one of the depths). No work. I admit I didn't try very hard. I sat in my lovely apartment circa 1928 in downtown Palo Alto, and wondered why I couldn't find a job. I sent a few resumes to Stanford where their recruiting system reviews resumes with a machine. I got no replies. I registered with a temp service for any kind of clerical work and got no calls. Hmmm... I cycled and danced and read and wandered around downtown Palo Alto. I lived the life of the grand lady of liesure. As I realized I was soon to be broke, I accepted an offer to return to Korea, this time as the English language editor of a journal published by a research institute, ETRI (Electronics and Telecommunications Research Institute). It's a good job and pays well; they gave me an apartment a 20 minute walk from work, and I have a lovely life here with the friends I made at KAIST and some new friends. I cycle and dance tango. The only problem is that my time in Korea was from '97 to '01. It was time to go in June 2001. I think expats develop a sense of when it's time to leave the country they're living in. Everything here is good, but I'm not content to be here. Nevertheless, I'm luckier than most people in the way I live. I'd better stay here and gather some money for my retirement because I have no retirement plan.
Yesterday I came across the word "blog" in something I read. I vaguely remembered having encountered the term before and thought it was some kind of journal posted on the Internet. After searching Google for more information, I got a good definition and then found this site. It was 6 pm and I was to meet Chang outside my building at 6:15. The site said it would take three minutes to create my own blogging site. WHOA! I did it and met Chang in time. I know nothing more than that I can post my journal here. I don't know how others will find it or why they would want to find it. I don't know what making links to it or from it entails. That will come later when I have time to look it up.
In the meantime, just in case someone finds his or her way to my blog, I'll introduce myself.
I'm 57, female, from Californian, living in Daejeon, Korea. I came to Korea in 1997 after four years in Romania. For four years I taught English science writing to graduate students at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology (KAIST). In June 2001 I returned to the States to try to make a living there but failed. I chose Silicon Valley just at the depth of the recession (one of the depths). No work. I admit I didn't try very hard. I sat in my lovely apartment circa 1928 in downtown Palo Alto, and wondered why I couldn't find a job. I sent a few resumes to Stanford where their recruiting system reviews resumes with a machine. I got no replies. I registered with a temp service for any kind of clerical work and got no calls. Hmmm... I cycled and danced and read and wandered around downtown Palo Alto. I lived the life of the grand lady of liesure. As I realized I was soon to be broke, I accepted an offer to return to Korea, this time as the English language editor of a journal published by a research institute, ETRI (Electronics and Telecommunications Research Institute). It's a good job and pays well; they gave me an apartment a 20 minute walk from work, and I have a lovely life here with the friends I made at KAIST and some new friends. I cycle and dance tango. The only problem is that my time in Korea was from '97 to '01. It was time to go in June 2001. I think expats develop a sense of when it's time to leave the country they're living in. Everything here is good, but I'm not content to be here. Nevertheless, I'm luckier than most people in the way I live. I'd better stay here and gather some money for my retirement because I have no retirement plan.
Actually 10/22/02 9:29 am
Good tango lesson last night at Azucar. The Argentinian teachers are good because they explain and demonstrate slowly, then make us do it over and over, then explain and demonstrate negative moves followed by correct moves, then make us practice over and over. Our regular Azucar and other Latin Soguro members do lots of talking, demonstrating as if they were just dancing, let us try it a couple of times, and then go on. They do their best but they're not teachers.
Last night we did milonga, basic steps and a milonette. Then we learned a regular tango step with the basic first five steps followed by six front ochos, then count of three to cruzada and count of three to close. Good workout.
I danced a lot but only with Chang and Ken and one set with Dongha. The young men just don't want to dance with an old woman. An obese or novice or ugly or sloppy young woman will get asked to dance more than me. Oh, for a world with men in my ballpark. I suppose they'd do the same.
Before Azucar, Chang and I went to Bibi Space. As we left work, I told him about arranging with the chef to have a small salad and pesto spagetti, though neither is on the menu. He said, "Let's go there." I was delighted. It's expensive but what happiness salad and pesto pasta is. I reckon that's where most of my food budget will go from now on. What a pity I can't also afford wine. Maybe I'll make a deal with them if I get to the point that I can eat there a couple of times a week.
It's so strange. Four years of Korean food and I was content to eat only Korean food. No cravings for western food. Then six months in the States craving Korean food, and now I'm back in Korea and have no interest in Korean food. OK, I still enjoy Korean food but I am no longer content to eat it daily. I want pasta and salad.
Good tango lesson last night at Azucar. The Argentinian teachers are good because they explain and demonstrate slowly, then make us do it over and over, then explain and demonstrate negative moves followed by correct moves, then make us practice over and over. Our regular Azucar and other Latin Soguro members do lots of talking, demonstrating as if they were just dancing, let us try it a couple of times, and then go on. They do their best but they're not teachers.
Last night we did milonga, basic steps and a milonette. Then we learned a regular tango step with the basic first five steps followed by six front ochos, then count of three to cruzada and count of three to close. Good workout.
I danced a lot but only with Chang and Ken and one set with Dongha. The young men just don't want to dance with an old woman. An obese or novice or ugly or sloppy young woman will get asked to dance more than me. Oh, for a world with men in my ballpark. I suppose they'd do the same.
Before Azucar, Chang and I went to Bibi Space. As we left work, I told him about arranging with the chef to have a small salad and pesto spagetti, though neither is on the menu. He said, "Let's go there." I was delighted. It's expensive but what happiness salad and pesto pasta is. I reckon that's where most of my food budget will go from now on. What a pity I can't also afford wine. Maybe I'll make a deal with them if I get to the point that I can eat there a couple of times a week.
It's so strange. Four years of Korean food and I was content to eat only Korean food. No cravings for western food. Then six months in the States craving Korean food, and now I'm back in Korea and have no interest in Korean food. OK, I still enjoy Korean food but I am no longer content to eat it daily. I want pasta and salad.
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